On Turning 40.

Turning 40 does weird things to a person. 'This was the year', I thought. Time for great things to happen for me. And I promptly steered my life into the 'fast lane'. I adopted a puppy, moved to a new house, thought I'd gotten a spot in a gallery (that was unceremoniously later revoked), begun guitar lessons again, and three days a week, began waking up before the birds (5am, thank you very much) to work out at a bootcamp in our new neighborhood. Even started to run again, and made plans for a couple 10-K's next year. Sounds and looks impressive, when I see it all in a big list like that.

But then all of the sudden... Crash. The end of August arrived and I was drop-dead-pooped. Gained back all the weight I lost in the first month of bootcamp. Didn't want to work, didn't want to exercise, didn't want to do.. well.. anything at all. And had artist-block – bad. I wanted to paint. But just couldn't get myself 'there'. Any free time I had, I just wanted to lay, sloth-like in front of the tube.

I'd figured I'd been just fooling myself. 'Your 40's are the new 30's' – my a**. Who am I, trying to keep up this charade? Really, wasn't I just a dreamer, deep down after all? And a lazy one at that – all talk and no action. But Why?? I've got a good career, university educated, no kids to tire me out, and I'm in pretty good health. So I should have lots of drive, lots of motivation, right? I didn't get it.

Until yesterday. Yesterday, Belinda Morrison, the trainer who owns Be More Fitness (the afore-mentioned bootcamp I've been attending) tested my body fat percentage. Bleh. But she'd warned us. Yes, exercise is a 'must'. But you can't get away with it alone and expect to have the energy that only good nutrition combined with exercise, can provide. I thought I'd been good, really. We don't keep a lot of junk food in our house. Well, yes, there was the peanut butter Chipits. Who can live without those, I ask you?? But I digress. The result of my body fat test was so bad I promptly went to Safeway, loaded up on greens, went home and threw away half the food in our pantry. Then last night, I attended her nutrition seminar at our community centre. After that, I went into my pantry and threw out the other half. Goodbye Chipits.

When I look at what I was trying to do it's surprising I lasted until 40 before I crashed. But who knew? I could still fit into my size 10 Levi's. To look at me, most wouldn't think I really had a health problem. Even I really didn't think I looked all that bad. But I was wrong. And I'm going to do something about it before it gets worse. With the help the 'clean eating' philosophy Belinda introduced me to, I'm going to kick the fanny of my140lbs and 30% bodyfat. Wish me luck; I'll keep you posted.

Take care of yourself, people.